The Constant Mistress

Dear Snarky,
Let?s say you never do break him of this habit. I?m trying to imagine how your marriage is going to work if for your sanity you must tune him out whenever he is engaged in ?explaining or describing something.? Nearly every time he opens his mouth you?ll be saying to yourself, ?Like, like, like, like, can?t hear you!? By your own description you are about to marry a paragon. Surely you?re aware of some of your own flaws, ones that he simply accepts. I could argue that you should just love your Valley Boy. And if he had a condition like Tourette?s Syndrome, it would be cruel not to embrace that as just a small part of him. But someone who habitually spews endless verbal filler would drive me crazy, too. This tic is also likely to have a deleterious effect on his career. Caroline Kennedy?s brief bid for the senate was in part derailed by her endless string of ?ums? and ?you knows.? You?ve had unproductive talks with your fianc? about the way he speaks, so it?s crucial that you change the tenor. First, tell your mother she?s being rude to your fianc? and you won?t stand for it. Don?t return his friends? eye-rolls. If you?ve been annoyed and abrupt with him, apologize. Then say that you?re concerned this piece of verbal baggage is going to hold him back, and you?d like to help him get rid of it. There are many places on the Web that give practical advice on making one?s speech crisper, so look at some with him. Most of all, I suggest you both sign up for Toastmasters?tell him you could improve your speaking skills, too. Sure, the video on their website is cheesy, but they?re cheap and effective. Each meeting has someone designated as an ?Ah Counter? who notes each instance of verbal fluff. Getting feedback from objective strangers should allow your beloved to lower his defenses and leave the Valley-speak behind.

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